The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - reflections on finishing well...
When I announced 6 months ago that I was leaving my post as Youth Worker, the person who was holding the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly remembered the purpose of their job and found the ‘on' switch. I know I'm not alone in feeling hopeless about a job situation, I just didn't think it would happen to me, and consequently had not thought about a coping strategy.
The last 5 years have been good to me. I remember running around my previous job, without an ounce of professionalism telling everyone I'd got a new job. When I finally finished the foundational gap year program in Cardiff I knew I was headed back to a place I could spend the rest of my life.
A year ago I knew I was struggling, but I thought it would iron itself out and things would eventually get back to normal. When it got worse I stopped communicating, not just at work, but with my whole world. This is the first thing NOT to do when finishing well. My stubborn hard heart would put on a fake smile and tell everyone it was all ok, just to try and convince them that I didn't have any problems. This was the ugliest I have ever been as a person. When you don't communicate, life is not fun and holding everything inside doesn't mean it gets solved or resolved. I had resigned myself to the untrue fact that I would be coping with this by myself.
Finally after months of holding on, I was dragged out of my shell and began to face up to the beginning of the end. Finishing well is as much a part of the story as the beginning and middle. In this I liken myself to an inexperienced long distance runner. I started off with the passion of a sprinter, all the heart to win the race but not the wisdom to see the distance. The final leg of this race has been paced well and challenged extensively, with insight coming from the side lines coaching me to a better finish. The amount of times I heard ‘I wish you'd spoken to me' and not acted upon it in my foolish unbelief, those good people around me who were eventually my hope. I couldn't have finished as well as I did without the help I received.
Finishing well means communicating, realising you are not alone and acting upon the wisdom imparted to you through those who have already experienced it. Without these things you could run the risk of leaving with baggage, leaving more broken than when you started and never wanting to go back. Thanks to these things I will leave my post without dwelling on the negative, rejoicing wholly in the positive and with a wealth of experience for the next ministry position God is leading me to.
Karen Litton, Youth Worker
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Short links
http://www.albandys.org.uk/go/the_good_the_bad_and_the_ugly
http://www.albandys.org.uk/go/959